I want these!

Just a sample:

1st-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS

* CANCEL MEETINGS. Professors at Level One may cancel department meetings only. (See Appendix 253 for a full list of levels and corresponding meetings.) This spell may be countered by another Professor’s Spell of Urgency, and will always be blocked by a Department Chair’s Reminder of Contractual Obligations.
* ACCEPT GRADES. -2 to Students’ Argument rolls. However, Students with 3 hit dice or more may retaliate with a Spell of Grievance (-3 to Professors’ Endurance rolls).
* MAGIC PEN. Increases grading speeds by a factor of at least two.
* SUMMON SENIOR COLLEAGUE. Professors attacked by Red Tape (q.v.) or under a Spell of Bewilderment may conjure up a tenured colleague for assistance. For correct information, perform a DC 12 Bureaucracy check.

(Hat tip: The Little Professor)