{"id":812,"date":"2007-02-07T17:12:00","date_gmt":"2007-02-07T17:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=812"},"modified":"2007-02-07T17:12:00","modified_gmt":"2007-02-07T17:12:00","slug":"magic-spells-for-professors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=812","title":{"rendered":"Magic Spells for Professors"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I want these! <\/p>\n<p>Just a sample:<\/p>\n<p><em>1st-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS<\/p>\n<p>    * CANCEL MEETINGS.  Professors at Level One may cancel department meetings only.  (See Appendix 253 for a full list of levels and corresponding meetings.)  This spell may be countered by another Professor&#8217;s Spell of Urgency, and will always be blocked by a Department Chair&#8217;s Reminder of Contractual Obligations.<br \/>    * ACCEPT GRADES.  -2 to Students&#8217; Argument rolls.  However, Students with 3 hit dice or more may retaliate with a Spell of Grievance  (-3 to Professors&#8217; Endurance rolls).<br \/>    * MAGIC PEN.  Increases grading speeds by a factor of at least two.<br \/>    * SUMMON SENIOR COLLEAGUE.  Professors attacked by Red Tape (q.v.) or under a Spell of Bewilderment may conjure up a tenured colleague for assistance.  For correct information, perform a DC 12 Bureaucracy check.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>(Hat tip: <a href=\"http:\/\/littleprofessor.typepad.com\/the_little_professor\/2007\/01\/scholars_studen.html\">The Little Professor<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I want these! Just a sample: 1st-LEVEL PROFESSORIAL SPELLS * CANCEL MEETINGS. Professors at Level One may cancel department meetings only. (See Appendix 253 for a full list of levels and corresponding meetings.) This spell may be countered by another Professor&#8217;s Spell of Urgency, and will always be blocked by a Department Chair&#8217;s Reminder of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[4],"class_list":["post-812","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-scholarship"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6xQTg-d6","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":367,"url":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=367","url_meta":{"origin":812,"position":0},"title":"In defense of \"spell books\"\u2026","author":"Chas S. Clifton","date":"January 28, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"In defense of \"spell books\" Jason Pitzl-Waters blogs BeliefNet's article on the proliferation of Wiccan spell books. My response to this proliferation? A big \"So what?\" In fact, I would say that writer Carl McColman's statement here lacks historical perspective: Indeed, if one quality of recent Wiccan literature is worth\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5249,"url":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=5249","url_meta":{"origin":812,"position":1},"title":"Popularity Contests and Declining Universities","author":"Chas S. Clifton","date":"February 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Janice Fiamengo takes on Rate My Professors as a sign of what is wrong with American universities. Such accusations reveal little about the professor in question; no one ever satisfactorily distinguishes a boring professor from a boredom-inclined student \u2014 which is not to suggest that boring professors do not exist,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"academia\"","block_context":{"text":"academia","link":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?tag=academia"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":496,"url":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=496","url_meta":{"origin":812,"position":2},"title":"Calm before the stormOver the\u2026","author":"Chas S. Clifton","date":"August 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Calm before the stormOver the years, I have noticed that we often have an unusually warm (for the season) night before a snowstorm. It's still August, of course, but I have been on campus the last two days, and that is the way it felt. I go to meetings, clean\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":747,"url":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=747","url_meta":{"origin":812,"position":3},"title":"Outed by &#8216;the chair&#8217;","author":"Chas S. Clifton","date":"October 27, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"My department chair (that's how we say it in Academia to avoid the sexism of \"chairman,\" even though it makes him sound like an ornate piece of furniture) recently invited me to speak to one of his classes.To establish my credentials, he handed a copy of my book Her Hidden\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":262,"url":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=262","url_meta":{"origin":812,"position":4},"title":"Magic noir Back to my\u2026","author":"Chas S. Clifton","date":"September 15, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Magic noir Back to my ongoing series on literary and cinematic paganism: over the weekend M. and I watched Cast a Deadly Spell (HBO, 1991), which attempts to blend 1940s-style film noir with magic. In fact, the movie begins with the statement, \"The year is 1948. Everybody uses magic.\" Everyone,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":936,"url":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?p=936","url_meta":{"origin":812,"position":5},"title":"The Dream and the Job","author":"Chas S. Clifton","date":"October 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"In the dream last night I was at some kind of Protestant Christian youth camp, headed by the stereotypical big, extroverted, 30-something youth minister.A teenaged girl was supposed to be baptized, but the minister had to leave suddenly, so he asked me to baptize her. His request presented two problems:1.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"teaching\"","block_context":{"text":"teaching","link":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/?tag=teaching"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/812","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=812"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/812\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.chasclifton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}