Guidelines for the politically correct police constable who finds him- or herself in the Wicker Man.
A Police Federation spokesman said: “During stressful situations there is a tendency to use hurtful or insensitive language, especially if you’re trapped in a massive, highly flammable corn dolly while an entire village gambols around it with lit branches singing folk songs about ‘ye [sic] offerings’.
“Naturally this situation is a long way from best practise in terms of health and safety, but the officer should refrain from using ideologically inappropriate language while begging for egress.”
“A 300-page guidebook?!” LOL!!!
A friend of mine sent me that article a couple of years ago (they must recycle) and it made my whole season. Thanks for the reminder! SO hysterical.