Eating Tomatoes Makes You a Christian

Salafist Muslims proclaim that eating tomatoes might lead you down the false path to Christianity.

The group posted a photo on its page of a tomato – which appears to reveal the shape of a cross after being cut in half – along with the message: “Eating tomatoes is forbidden because they are Christian. [The tomato] praises the cross instead of Allah and says that Allah is three (a reference to the Trinity).

[God help us]. I implore you to spread this photo because there is a sister from Palestine who saw the prophet of Allah [Mohammad] in a vision and he was crying, warning his nation against eating them [tomatoes]. If you don’t spread this [message], know that it is the devil who stopped you.”

Silly fundamentalists. Eating tomatoes will lead you to worship Coatlicue.

5 thoughts on “Eating Tomatoes Makes You a Christian

  1. Okay… so how does a tomato connect with Coatlicue? Is that her preferred ritual food? Article at Wikipedia doesn’t say. Does this mean that when I water my tomato plants I should invoke Coatlicue instead of Zemyna or Berehinia?

    • Just having a little fun there. Tomatoes originated probably in South America rather than Mexico — it’s a little murky — but the Spanish encountered them in Mexico, hence the reference to the Aztec goddess.

  2. Every time I see nonsense like this, I want to pull the author aside and ask (cue sharp grandma voice): “Do you need something to do? Because I can find something for you to do.”

  3. I wacky-parsed that first word as “Salad-fist”. I guess my Freudian slip is showing…

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